SOBRIETY & RACISM
As I’ve been diving into the study of racism and how I contribute to it, I can’t help but notice the parallels of this work and that of choosing sobriety. Both are the result of very deep seeded, lifelong social conditioning, which ultimately requires the dismantling and digging up of entangled roots. This process is a multi-faceted one which demands an unmasking and an ego death. The ultimate willingness to be proven wrong about everything you thought you knew. The understanding that while it may not be our fault, it is 100% our responsibility to change.
It’s very easy for us to clutch on to the fact that we are good people, therefore we aren’t racist; or I am a ‘high-functioning’ drinker, therefore the alcohol epidemic doesn’t pertain to me. I’m better than that. We equate racism with being a bad person. This binary thinking allows us to very easily point the fingers elsewhere. We distract and justify with the very dangerous ‘Us vs Them’ mentality. I’m a liberal progressive who cares deeply about people, so I’m not the problem. It’s clearly the overt racists. I don’t consider myself an ‘alcoholic’ so I guess I don’t have a drinking problem, AND ALSO let’s look at the opioid crisis over there! This constant diversion of attention away from ourselves only further solidifies and feeds the systemic problems.
Both require you to learn to get comfortable in the uncomfortable. The seduction of slinking back into our white privilege when the going gets tough or just having that drink because society pushes and encourages it is a lure that is ever present and real. Pain and discomfort is a human condition. The resultant numbing out and turning a blind eye comes in many shapes and sizes (perfectionism, phone addiction, work addiction, drugs, anxiety, hiding behind religion, to name a few).
Unlearning and learning takes work and practice, but it doesn’t have to be a battle that comes in the shape of fear and resistance. I prefer to approach it with a buddhist concept called, ‘the beginner’s mind’. This refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and a lack of preconceptions when studying a subject. Approach it with curiosity and new eyes. Put down the defenses. Accept responsibility. Be willing to do it wrong and make mistakes along the way.
This movement is calling on us to look at our core beliefs, behaviors and knee jerk defense mechanisms. It’s calling on us to see that we are the problem, rather than pointing a finger at someone else or another group. It’s calling on us to recognize that being racist or alcohol having a hold over us isn’t our fault, as we are a product of social conditioning. BUT, it is our responsibility to name it and do the work to dismantle it. All change and forward motion starts with each individual recognizing how they are part of the problem, even though the ego will challenge this and probably won’t go down quietly. This is RADICAL SELF CARE in all of its glory. I have done the work to find freedom from the lies that society and alcohol has fed me and now I’m ready to continue that path into dismantling my own racism. Will you join me?